Notes On: Humor and Sarcasm

Humor! One of the most social habits of humanity, as well as one of the most perplexing, humor exists to help us make light of serious situations. It's also there to help us open up a conversation, or even impress an audience. In short, humor is a quintessentially human concept that serves a very social function. Some aspects of humor, however, tend to confuse and confound more than make others laugh. Sarcasm, for instance, is often a form of humor that confuses others. It can even be used to express dissatisfaction to another person, much different from what many people think of when they think of humor.

The Aspie Insiders met recently to talk about humor, looking specifically at the matter of sarcasm. We covered in depth how to tell when a person is being sarcastic. The bulk of this discussion will appear later on this blog. For today, though, let's consider why people choose to be sarcastic. It's a question that came up during our conversation, and it's important to understand how sarcasm can be used for good... and for bad.

Sarcasm is an interesting form of humor, one that can be immensely funny when used in a proper context. Some people who are said to have a "sarcastic sense of humor" often have great success in making others laugh. With a dry, sometime even biting sense of humor, this seems counter intuitive. The trick, though, is that people around them grow to understand that personality trait, and in doing so grow closer to the person behind the humor. Sarcastic people can be endearing people to know, the ones who boldly say what's on their mind and require some getting used to. This character from Parks and Recreation, a popular television show, fits this description perfectly:

At the same time, sarcasm can be an inhibitor to making others laugh. It's not uncommon for sarcasm to do the opposite and turn others away. After all, there's a fine line between sarcasm and rudeness. Part of this is because sarcasm is also used as a tool -- a signal that someone just isn't happy about something. Sarcasm can convey disapproval in a way that being openly rude cannot. When a person uses sarcasm to express dissatisfaction with something, they accomplish two dangerous things: 1. They communicate their disapproval, and 2. They keep their intentions hidden (unless, of course, the other person is smart enough to figure this out). Since sarcasm employs irony to convey an opposite meaning, understanding what is actually being said is almost presented as a challenge. Fail the challenge, and it makes a person look foolish.

As an example, let's pretend that Bobby (our sarcastic fellow in this situation) does not like the color red. Amy, a friend of Bobby's, gets Bobby a red hat for his birthday. When he opens his gift and sees the hat, he is dissatisfied. Using sarcasm to convey this feeling, Bobby states, "Wow, a red hat. Thanks. I really appreciate it."

Now, Bobby actually does not like this hat, given that it's red. Instead of making his thoughts clearly known, he opts to use sarcasm. In doing so, he leaves his true feelings hidden. Amy may or may not understand that Bobby actually doesn't like the hat, but it's up to her to figure it out. If she cannot detect the sarcasm, then she looks even more foolish. This is the reason sarcasm can be so destructive, for it uses smoke and mirrors to express frustration, anger, and dissatisfaction.

DO YOU USE SARCASM TO MAKE OTHERS LAUGH, OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU HAVE A "SARCASTIC" SENSE OF HUMOR? IF SO, WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR SUCCESSES AND PITFALLS WITH USING THIS TYPE OF HUMOR? LEAVE A COMMENT IN THE SECTION BELOW.