“Assertiveness Defined”
Not all of us are extroverts. In fact, as many as one third to one half of our population tends to be introverted instead. Yet the world seems to favor extroversion. That tendency to be bold and comfortable in the spotlight is generally associated with high productivity and a desire to succeed. Along with this list of character traits for extroverts is the idea of being assertive. Defined as “disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior," being assertive sounds a lot like being a leader.
The Aspie Insiders met last week over coffee to discuss this concept and how it applies to them. We also shared examples about how assertion has helped us in our own lives and identified what it takes to be assertive.
“What does assertiveness mean to you?”
The Insiders described assertiveness as having the ability to “get your point across.” We also identified assertiveness as a strong attribute that leaders have. However, it’s not limited to only those people with leader-like qualities. Being assertive is an important part of being a human being and letting one’s voice be heard. Whether working at a job that’s too stressful or being in a relationship that requires some work, assertion can help a person get their point across. Essentially, the Insiders decided that by being assertive, one can help open up communication in a particularly tricky situation.
We shared examples of how being assertive helped us out in a delicate situation. Here are some of those examples:
Not all of us are extroverts. In fact, as many as one third to one half of our population tends to be introverted instead. Yet the world seems to favor extroversion. That tendency to be bold and comfortable in the spotlight is generally associated with high productivity and a desire to succeed. Along with this list of character traits for extroverts is the idea of being assertive. Defined as “disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior," being assertive sounds a lot like being a leader.
The Aspie Insiders met last week over coffee to discuss this concept and how it applies to them. We also shared examples about how assertion has helped us in our own lives and identified what it takes to be assertive.
“What does assertiveness mean to you?”
The Insiders described assertiveness as having the ability to “get your point across.” We also identified assertiveness as a strong attribute that leaders have. However, it’s not limited to only those people with leader-like qualities. Being assertive is an important part of being a human being and letting one’s voice be heard. Whether working at a job that’s too stressful or being in a relationship that requires some work, assertion can help a person get their point across. Essentially, the Insiders decided that by being assertive, one can help open up communication in a particularly tricky situation.
We shared examples of how being assertive helped us out in a delicate situation. Here are some of those examples:
- After working at the same location for 2 years and not being promoted or getting a raise, one person made the decision to ask for more responsibility and learned how to do new tasks. Within a year, that person got a raise and started to "move up the ladder" at work.
- By being assertive, another Insider was able to get his ideas across at work and school. Whereas before he thought his ideas weren't that good, after being more vocal he realized that he had a lot to offer (his coworkers and classmates recognized this as well)
- Another person mentioned that he had to ask his teachers in college for a couple of extensions because of personal issues. By being vocal and assertive, he managed to get his work completed and turned in without a problem.
- Everyone agreed that being assertive is important within serious relationships, where communication is key.
- When one of the Insiders started a new job, he made sure to tell his supervisor that he had Asperger's Syndrome. He explained what it was and how it affected him. When a situation came up later while he was on the job, the supervisor was more understanding because of this.
Our discussion led to a few different conclusions about when is a good time to be assertive. First, it's a good idea to be speak up if your needs aren't being met. This can be applied to many different situations, from school to basic relationships to the workplace. If a person feels like they are being mistreated in a situation, they should identify who they need to speak to about the problem. After that, the person needs to vocalize what they think the problem is as well as any possible solutions they have. As we mentioned before, most of the point to this is simply opening up communication in order to voice an opinion, a need, or a thought.
We recognized that being assertive can help us to achieve more and succeed at the things we want to do. At work, for instance, being assertive can help a person accomplish more and get along better with coworkers, supervisors, and others. One doesn't have to be a natural-born leader to have great ideas. With assertion, those ideas are not wasted. Rather, they have a place to go and can actually be implemented.
Finally, being assertive takes on a new meaning within a serious relationship. Whether you are dating or married or just getting to know someone new, opening up that line of honest communication is extremely important for having your needs met. If, for example, a person feels that their significant other is spending too much time with their friends, just having that line of communication open and being able to use it can help solve the problem.
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