Learning When And How To Ask For Help

Our modern-day society can be a pretty overwhelming place at times.  Education, responsibilities, city-life, the advent of technology... all of these things can make life seem infinitely busy.  And as humans, we generally pride ourselves in staying busy.  If we grab a moment for ourselves to just relax and enjoy some mental breathing room, it’s tempting to feel guilty of being unproductive.  Nope, it’s better to keep plugging along and ignore that little voice inside that warns us that something isn’t right...

Perhaps it’s a difficulty with getting college work done, or maybe it’s a family situation that keeps nagging at your conscience; whatever the case, that voice is important.  And as our Aspie Insiders discussed today, being able to listen to that voice and understand when and how to ask for help might just be one of the most important life skills a person can learn.  Not only that, it ties into last week’s topic on assertiveness: asking for help requires that you let your voice be known and identify a certain need.

The Insiders offered their own experiences with learning how to ask for help.  Here are some of the points they discussed:

• The move from high school to college can be a tricky one.  Going from a structured environment (timed schedules, mandatory attendance, being in one location all day) to all the freedoms college offers is an enormous shift and can be pretty overwhelming.  One of our Insiders mentioned that managing time for him was a challenge when it came to this.
• Learning how to ask for help requires that one understand when they can’t do something on their own.  We explained that gauging one’s own capabilities and needs is useful here.
• It was also mentioned that teachers do not always acknowledge a student’s individual needs.  In this case, not being able to ask for help can be detrimental to an individual’s education.  An Insider shared that one of his teachers came to him specifically to offer tutoring in the morning for math when he went through high school.  While this was helpful, we noted that it can be quite the exception in education today (especially at the college level).
• We talked briefly about resources that are available for us in the community and how to access those resources.  It was noted that when facing a situation -- be it personal or whatever -- finding someone who has been through the same experience can be very helpful.
• The Insiders also touched on what it means to ask for help within a serious relationship.  Many of us in a relationship identify that we “need” the other person, but what does that actually entail?  One Insider said that assertiveness was a factor, that sometimes you just have to speak up and -- as we mentioned last week -- open that channel of communication.

The last thing we added to the discussion was a quick step-by-step list for asking for help.  It looked something like this:

1. Identify what you need
2. Identify who you should talk to to get what you need
3. Think about what you need to say to this person
4. Address the issue or challenge
5. Work together to produce solutions
6. Repeat if necessary

In today’s hectic, crowded world, following these steps and asking for help can significantly improve a person's life.  Help exists, but being able to know when and how to ask for it is a skill in itself.

IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, SHARE YOUR OWN STORY ABOUT HOW ASKING FOR HELP MADE YOUR LIFE A LOT EASIER.  WHAT TIPS DO YOU HAVE FOR THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH ASKING FOR HELP?