Humor's Dos and Don'ts

There are many, many ways to be humorous.  For some, slapstick humor can bring a chuckle.  For others, jokes are the preferred method of making people laugh.  No matter what one is doing to be funny, humor is definitely an important part of our social fabric.  It helps us connect, gives our conversations complexity, and even makes people feel comfortable.  What's important to note, however, is that humor carries along with it a whole set of unspoken rules.  Some of those rules are obvious (telling jokes at a funeral, for instance, is a terrible idea), while other rules aren't so clearly defined.

Our Aspie Insiders got together this week to discuss humor in all its different forms.  We talked about how humor is often a tool we use to make friends and meet new people.  One of our Insiders said that he tells lighthearted jokes to customers while he's on the job, and so it's his way of being friendly and getting to know other people.  Another Insider said that he doesn't normally tell jokes, but he points out humor in certain situations.  He explained that he normally does this within his close circle of friends.  We identified many different types of humor, including puns, slapstick, jokes, sarcasm, wit, and even crude or offensive humor.  As we listed these off, we also developed some specific social rules about humor.  They are as follows:

• Puns are an interesting form of humor because a common reaction to a pun isn't laughter, but rather a groan or sigh.  We decided that people do this because puns can be expected.  They are a play on words, but they can definitely be overplayed.
• Humor also changes as we grow up.  Slapstick humor, for instance, is something that younger kids usually find humorous, but to adults it can be annoying.  One member used the Home Alone series of movies as an example of this.
• Humor is subjective, meaning that what some people think is funny, others don't.  This means that a joke we tell doesn't always seem funny to others.  And it works the other way too, when something we say sparks laughter in another person (even when we thought it wasn't funny)
• One important thing to keep in mind is the expressions and reactions that other people have to our humor, since it can tell us when others don't think we're funny anymore.  If you're trying to be funny and the response from others is silence, it's a safe bet that you're not being funny anymore.
• Humor can be used to make us more comfortable about situations around us.  Our Insiders explained that this can be a double-edged sword — in some cases humor helps to calm people down and make them feel less stressed, but in other cases using humor in a stressful situation can make us look silly or be annoying to others.
• Our same rules for conversations apply to humor: talking about such things as politics, religion, money, and other "hot-button issues" is generally not a good idea unless you're very familiar with your audience; in this same way, telling jokes about those things can make people feel very uncomfortable.
• If someone tells a crude joke or mentions something that you find offensive, there are ways to deal with the situation.  You can try to change the subject, or if the person persists with their offensive humor, be assertive and say that you don't feel comfortable talking about that subject.

The last thing we talked about before concluding our discussion was pranks.  We came up with a clear rule that I think can be useful when using any type of humor: if it's something that you wouldn't want another person to do to you, then don't do it to others.  This same rule can be applied to almost any humorous situation; if you think a joke will offend or hurt someone else, then keep it in your head! 


HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED A SITUATION WHERE HUMOR GOT YOU IN TROUBLE?  IF SO, TELL BELOW AND SEE IF YOU CAN APPLY ONE OF OUR HUMOR RULES TO YOUR STORY!