I am sure that a great many of people living in today's society have heard of either Autism or Asperger's Syndrome... or even both. But how many individuals know exactly what these conditions are?
From what I’ve gathered from my own personal experiences, there are many misconceptions as to what Autism Spectrum Disorder (or ASD) really is and how it effects not only the person who lives with the diagnosis, but how it also effects the people around them.
And I should know. I live with Asperger's Syndrome every day.
If you are most interested in what Asperger's is from a clinical standpoint, then check out current version of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual(IV) for the definition, (but know that the next version of the DSM, the fifth version, is proposing the Asperger's Syndrome be absorbed into Autism Spectrum Disorder, essentially obliterating Asperger's as a diagnosis... but that's another story).
The rest of my note will be aimed at sharing with you, the reader, how the diagnosis of Asperger's has effected me and all of those around me.
Although I was not properly diagnosed until I was 19 years old, I look back on my life and see
many situations that all point back at Asperger's... after all, I did not catch the syndrome at age 19, I have had it all of my life. Situations that involved school, friends and family, and how I handled them... they all now scream "Asperger's!"
I hated school, but that isn’t anything to raise alarm. What 5 year old wakes up and goes, “Yaay, I have school today!" But, I was so uninterested in school though that I had teachers complain that I would never finish. Some even went as far as saying I would not succeed at anything because they couldn’t break the mental barrier that I hide behind. This in turn was hard on my parents because they literally had to fight to keep me from expulsion. Their frustration and anger came straight onto me. This obviously made me feel horrible as I couldn’t understand what the problem was.
I was just having fun. What was so wrong with that? I never really understood the position I placed everyone around me in until just a few years ago... and it's still just a beginning of an understanding. I give my folks credit for standing by me all that time and continually pushing me forward. Believe me, when properly motivated I can be as stubborn as a mule, so it is an impressive feat not to have given up on me after all of these years!
Reflecting back, it seems that the biggest hardship that I faced growing up, and continue to experience, is my social life. To be honest, I have never been good at making friends. They had to come to me most of the time. I have never been good at seeking them out. It was, and still can be, difficult for me to walk up to a complete stranger and say hello. Its a very nerve wracking experience because I don’t know what will happen. But there are times I enjoy that feeling because its an adrenaline rush....like a natural high. The friends that I did make though, have either used me for their own agenda or have stayed with me through all of my fire and brimstone experiences. If I make a friend and get to know them well enough, then they become my surrogate family, my extended brothers and sisters. But even these best of friends have witnessed the Aspie in me come out every now and and again.
One of my best friends, Alan, introduced me to the ancient art of meditation, something I have
used for the last 4 years of my life, (by the way, if you ever come across this article Alan, thanks
for the introduction to this craft)... Where was I? Oh yes! One day after a particularly gruesome
day at my High School, Alan and a bunch of other mates decided to go to a meditation class. It was
one of those times where you felt nothing else could go wrong. So we went to the class and got set
up. I was in a pretty foul mood, which may have had something to do with a debate that I had had with a teacher about a recent ban on eyeliner. But never mind that... We were all settled down and were
told to think of something positive and meditate on that thought for 15 minutes. I immediately
thought of my dog chasing crickets in the yard, leaping right after them. I began to giggle to
myself at this thought, which soon turned into a roar of laughter. I soon realized that everybody
was staring at me. Some people even said “the kid’s got issues”, which made me foul again.
Afterwards I had to apologize to my friends and said something like, “I see no problem with
laughing. It WAS a positive thought after all." I just did not realize that my laughter was completely disrupting the point of why everyone else was there.
The Asperger's strikes again!
Not everybody with ASD goes through the same experiences, but there are some common
threads. For example, a majority of those with ASD have a huge fixation on something, (like
video games, weapons, fans, Egyptian mummies, or something...it could be anything), which may become an obsession. Where others find that a bit unusual, I think it's fine.
When I was growing up, my favorite past time was watching old B-rated monster movies, which REALLY suprised a lot of people. I can see there concern now, but at the time it was what pleased me and made me happy. You wouldn’t have told Stravinsky that his obsession with music was abnormal would you? Then why tell that to somebody else?
Well, it's because they don’t understand. They don’t see the point in it. Or the joy it gives somebody else. Some of the greatest people in our past have had passionate obsessions about whatever made them memorable... but chances are that the people round them might have been stressed by their passion.
There are a couple of widely assumed ideas about somebody who has ASD.
Lets just focus on 2 for the moment:
1) People with ASD have no emotions
The mistake of thinking that because they don’t act like or show their feelings in the ways that people might expect does not mean that we don’t! In fact it’s just the opposite. Studies show that a majority of individuals with ASD are more prone to feelings and emortions and are actually very sensitive. Unlike Robbie the Robot, Aspie’s and Autie’s CAN and DO feel the basic fundamental emotions
that make us all human like happiness, sadness, and anger... often to frustrating levels, at which we may not know how to express them in ways that others recognize.
2) People with ASD are stupid
Let me assure you all, and I speak from a wealth of experience, we’re not! Ever heard of Albert Einstein? While it has yet to be proven, there is a very strong theory that he could have been diagnosed with Asperger's. He created the theory of relativity, but he couldn’t fold laundry and was socially quirky. Or, let's think about Dr. Temple Gradin. She is one of the most famous advocates for Animal rights, yet she too lives with autism. There is also the hunch that the late singer John Lennon lived with
ASD as well. Look at these highly intellectual people who lived with a diagnosis. Hmmm.
Although living with Aspergers is difficult at times, it is by no means a curse. It helps me become a better individual by making me know myself better. And not just me, but many many more in the world. I can identify with them and help them feel apart of something in this world. And what better way to be than help others like me learn to grow. I have lived a lot of life in just a short 22 years, and it certainly has been one wild ride, but there is still a lot more to come. Stay tuned.
Contributed by Aspie Insider member, Miles Bumgardner
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