Notes On: Humor and Sarcasm

Humor! One of the most social habits of humanity, as well as one of the most perplexing, humor exists to help us make light of serious situations. It's also there to help us open up a conversation, or even impress an audience. In short, humor is a quintessentially human concept that serves a very social function. Some aspects of humor, however, tend to confuse and confound more than make others laugh. Sarcasm, for instance, is often a form of humor that confuses others. It can even be used to express dissatisfaction to another person, much different from what many people think of when they think of humor.

The Aspie Insiders met recently to talk about humor, looking specifically at the matter of sarcasm. We covered in depth how to tell when a person is being sarcastic. The bulk of this discussion will appear later on this blog. For today, though, let's consider why people choose to be sarcastic. It's a question that came up during our conversation, and it's important to understand how sarcasm can be used for good... and for bad.

Sarcasm is an interesting form of humor, one that can be immensely funny when used in a proper context. Some people who are said to have a "sarcastic sense of humor" often have great success in making others laugh. With a dry, sometime even biting sense of humor, this seems counter intuitive. The trick, though, is that people around them grow to understand that personality trait, and in doing so grow closer to the person behind the humor. Sarcastic people can be endearing people to know, the ones who boldly say what's on their mind and require some getting used to. This character from Parks and Recreation, a popular television show, fits this description perfectly:

At the same time, sarcasm can be an inhibitor to making others laugh. It's not uncommon for sarcasm to do the opposite and turn others away. After all, there's a fine line between sarcasm and rudeness. Part of this is because sarcasm is also used as a tool -- a signal that someone just isn't happy about something. Sarcasm can convey disapproval in a way that being openly rude cannot. When a person uses sarcasm to express dissatisfaction with something, they accomplish two dangerous things: 1. They communicate their disapproval, and 2. They keep their intentions hidden (unless, of course, the other person is smart enough to figure this out). Since sarcasm employs irony to convey an opposite meaning, understanding what is actually being said is almost presented as a challenge. Fail the challenge, and it makes a person look foolish.

As an example, let's pretend that Bobby (our sarcastic fellow in this situation) does not like the color red. Amy, a friend of Bobby's, gets Bobby a red hat for his birthday. When he opens his gift and sees the hat, he is dissatisfied. Using sarcasm to convey this feeling, Bobby states, "Wow, a red hat. Thanks. I really appreciate it."

Now, Bobby actually does not like this hat, given that it's red. Instead of making his thoughts clearly known, he opts to use sarcasm. In doing so, he leaves his true feelings hidden. Amy may or may not understand that Bobby actually doesn't like the hat, but it's up to her to figure it out. If she cannot detect the sarcasm, then she looks even more foolish. This is the reason sarcasm can be so destructive, for it uses smoke and mirrors to express frustration, anger, and dissatisfaction.

DO YOU USE SARCASM TO MAKE OTHERS LAUGH, OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU HAVE A "SARCASTIC" SENSE OF HUMOR? IF SO, WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR SUCCESSES AND PITFALLS WITH USING THIS TYPE OF HUMOR? LEAVE A COMMENT IN THE SECTION BELOW.

Challenges In The Workplace

The Aspie Insiders met up this week to talk about the challenges they have faced in the workplace. From the issue of stress to the matter of prioritizing, our members had some incredibly introspective things to say about the professional world and offered their own perspectives on it — including many things that most people don't often consider.

During our discussion, it seemed the Insiders focused on only a handful of challenges in the workplace. These will be listed below along with the highlights of our discussion.

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• Stress

Stress can be an extremely debilitating factor that often negates a person's success in the workplace. It is silent, unseen, and affects everyone differently. Therefore, it is often a hard thing to deal with. The Insiders had some answers here, however, sharing their own tips for dealing with anxiety. Some members described their stress as being very physical in nature, and so they deal with it accordingly by using therapy balls or even a small trampoline to bounce on and get rid of that built up energy. Other members shared more conventional methods of managing stress, such as listening to calming music or exercising.

The trend over the past twenty years for most people in the workforce has been a drastic increase in productivity matched with income levels that have roughly stayed the same. As such, many in the workforce feel overworked and stressed out, handling by themselves what two or three people managed in the past. With this in mind, we concluded that stress is something that has to be managed. It should be an important part of any person's life and should be addressed on a daily basis.

• Boredom

Some of our Insiders expressed an interesting challenge they have while on the job — that of boredom. While many jobs present high-stress situations, there are also jobs out there that include lots of down time. To the aforementioned overworked individual, this might seem like a good thing, but as any person who has worked in retail during slow hours will tell you, it can truly be a nightmare.

One of our members prefaced our entire discussion on boredom by stating that he often seeks out things to do when things get slow at the place he works. By doing this, he said, he avoids boredom and shows his supervisor that he values his job and has a healthy work ethic. With the popularity of smartphones, I imagine this as an opportunity often overlooked. An employee cannot complain of boredom if there are still responsibilities to meet.

If, however, you find yourself bored to tears with nothing else to do, there are some things you can do. If it doesn't interrupt your ability to meet customers' needs, listening to music or audiobooks might be the way to go. One member said that he does just this at his job as a document processor. Speaking of customers, interacting with them is a great way to avoid boredom (and it shows a proper work ethic). And finally, you might consider making menial tasks fun in your own way: challenge yourself, get coworkers involved, inject some humor into the task. A little creativity can truly be a boredom killer.

• Multitasking

When this topic came up in discussion, one of our members made a very clear, decisive statement: "Multitasking is a myth." In researching this a bit since our meeting, it seems to be the case. From an article featured on NPR, this statement rings true: "The research is almost unanimous, which is very rare in social science, and it says that people who chronically multitask show an enormous range of deficits. They're basically terrible at all sorts of cognitive tasks, including multitasking."

The article can be found here.

• Prioritizing

If multitasking, then, is essentially a dead end, what are we left with? Basically, the Insiders determined that prioritizing rather than multitasking is the way to go. That, of course, can be a challenge in and of itself. Figuring out what tasks one has to complete is the first step, but then figuring out the order in which to do those things is the next one.

Making lists is always helpful. One member said that he lists out everything he can think of that he has to get done. Purging one's mind of those thoughts instantly reduces anxiety — you have gotten it "out of your system" — and it helps to see those responsibilities laid out. After this, ask yourself what requires immediate attention. You can work your backwards from here, deciding what needs to be done before the day's end, what needs to be caught up on, and what can wait. Essentially, designating a system for this is the way to go — it might take some practice to effectively gauge the order in which tasks should be completed, but this will go a long way in helping you make correct decisions.

BELOW, SHARE YOUR OWN CHALLENGES IN THE WORKPLACE. HOW HAVE YOU DEALT WITH THEM? WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE THOSE WHO ARE RELATIVELY NEW TO THE WORKING WORLD? LET US KNOW!

Conversation Skills and "The Mountain"

The Aspie Insiders recently met up together to talk about a huge requirement for interacting with other people: having communication skills. Specifically, we mapped out the course of a typical conversation step by step, being careful to explain how each stage of a typical conversation differs and what it looks like in real life.

With this in mind, we would like to share with you our "Conversation Mountain," a carefully plotted map for how typical conversations progress:

The six steps to this conversation pattern are fairly simple, and they provide a fair picture of what is going on while two people are interacting with words:

1. Greeting. The greeting is as simple as saying "hi," though our members agree that even this can be difficult in the right context (such as introducing yourself to a person you're attracted to).

2. Small Talk, Part 1. For the first phase of small talk, our members noted that people generally ask questions to get a conversation started. The "W" stands for "wonder questions," which are essentially questions asked because of something that one is wondering about another person.

3. Small Talk, Part 2. As we transition into small talk, we go from asking wonder questions to asking "followup questions" (that's what the "F" stands for in our image). As the name implies, these questions are following up on bits of information gained from asking wonder questions.

4. Deep, Personal Conversation. The top of the mountain in terms of conversation is without a doubt the best place to be. Our members noted that at this part of the conversation, the topics discussed are usually personal and complex. In a way, the whole practice of "small talk" is for reaching this area of the mountain, where people can be themselves and talk about the things that interest them.

5. The Wrap Up. At this part in the conversation, things are winding down. Even though the top of the mountain is a great place to be, it requires a lot of energy and can't be enjoyed forever. When time is running out or interest is fading, our members noted that people generally indicate a conclusion to things by saying something like "Well, it was great talking to you, but I gotta run."

6. "Goodbye." This part of the mountain represents the end to the conversation and is usually marked by a departing remark such as "see ya" or "alright, I'm out" — something simple to indicate to the other person that you are done with the conversation.

On our conversation mountain, you will also notice a bridge connecting "small talk" to the "wrap up." One of our members suggested this, since in many cases small talk is used as a courtesy to others rather than as a way to get into deep, personal conversations (people typically do this when they know they won't have time to get to "4" in a conversation). Of course, the bridge can go the other way as well — that is, in the process of "wrapping up" you may discover a topic the other person wants to talk about.

As far the river goes, that was added for aesthetic appeal. If, however, you think it can be a metaphor for how we converse, let us know in the comments section below!

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF OUR CONVERSATION MOUNTAIN? DID WE FULLY COVER THE PROCESS THAT OCCURS WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO EACH OTHER? AND, DO YOU THINK THIS IS HELPFUL FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY NAVIGATING The Aspie Insiders recently met up together to talk about a huge requirement for interacting with other people: having communication skills. Specifically, we mapped out the course of a typical conversation step by step, being careful to explain how each stage of a typical conversation differs and what it looks like in real life.

With this in mind, we would like to share with you our "Conversation Mountain," a carefully plotted map for how typical conversations progress:

The six steps to this conversation pattern are fairly simple, and they provide a fair picture of what is going on while two people are interacting with words:

Greeting. The greeting is as simple as saying "hi," though our members agree that even this can be difficult in the right context (such as introducing yourself to a person you're attracted to).

Small Talk, Part 1. For the first phase of small talk, our members noted that people generally ask questions to get a conversation started. The "W" stands for "wonder questions," which are essentially questions asked because of something that one is wondering about another person.

Small Talk, Part 2. As we transition into small talk, we go from asking wonder questions to asking "followup questions" (that's what the "F" stands for in our image). As the name implies, these questions are following up on bits of information gained from asking wonder questions.

Deep, Personal Conversation. The top of the mountain in terms of conversation is without a doubt the best place to be. Our members noted that at this part of the conversation, the topics discussed are usually personal and complex. In a way, the whole practice of "small talk" is for reaching this area of the mountain, where people can be themselves and talk about the things that interest them.

The Wrap Up. At this part in the conversation, things are winding down. Even though the top of the mountain is a great place to be, it requires a lot of energy and can't be enjoyed forever. When time is running out or interest is fading, our members noted that people generally indicate a conclusion to things by saying something like "Well, it was great talking to you, but I gotta run."

"Goodbye." This part of the mountain represents the end to the conversation and is usually marked by a departing remark such as "see ya" or "alright, I'm out" — something simple to indicate to the other person that you are done with the conversation.

On our conversation mountain, you will also notice a bridge connecting "small talk" to the "wrap up." One of our members suggested this, since in many cases small talk is used as a courtesy to others rather than as a way to get into deep, personal conversations (people typically do this when they know they won't have time to get to "4" in a conversation). Of course, the bridge can go the other way as well — that is, in the process of "wrapping up" you may discover a topic the other person wants to talk about.

As far the river goes, that was added for aesthetic appeal. If, however, you think it can be a metaphor for how we converse, let us know in the comments section below!

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF OUR CONVERSATION MOUNTAIN? DID WE FULLY COVER THE PROCESS THAT OCCURS WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO EACH OTHER? AND, DO YOU THINK THIS IS HELPFUL FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY NAVIGATING CONVERSATIONS?

Simple Tips For Saving Money

With the Aspie Insiders, we often talk about the importance of "Executive Functioning" skills -- that is, such things as planning, strategizing, organizing, attention to detail, and time management. These are critical skills needed to grow up successfully and manage all the fine details of life.

While the idea of managing time is extremely important, we often talk about management of another necessity in life, and that is money. Being in control of money (rather than the other way around) is a challenge for many, especially given the troubling economic environment most have had to get used to within the past few years. With this in mind, check out the following video that offers some simple money-saving tips for any person to follow. While you might not find yourself saving up huge amounts of cash because of this video, it will challenge you to live more frugally.

BELOW, SHARE YOUR OWN THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW TO SAVE MONEY AND GET BY IN A WORLD THAT CAN BE QUITE CHALLENGING WHEN IT COMES TO FINANCES. ALSO, FEEL FREE TO COMMENT IF YOU'RE ALREADY DOING SOME OF THESE THINGS!

Flexibility And Pet Peeves

One of the greatest challenges we as people may experience in our lives is that of being flexible -- of managing conflicts or frustrations in a reasonable and mature manner.  When a person at the grocery store line jumps in front of you or accidentally spills juice all over your shoes.  Or when the person waiting on your table at a restaurant forgets to put in your order.  Or maybe even the neighbor's dog barking in the middle of the night and keeping you up.  These are all moments when a bit of patience and flexibility can go a long way!

The Aspie Insiders met up last week to discuss this concept and what it means to us.  Here are some of the thoughts they had on the subject:

• One Insider mentioned the need to be flexible while he worked at Harris-Teeter.  He explained that in moments when he lost his cool, he was quick to apologize.
• Another member talked about how some people can "cross boundaries" in a given situation and make being flexible an extremely hard thing to do.
• It's important to keep in mind that there's a proper balance between being assertive and being flexible.  Being flexible doesn't mean that you're willing to be taken advantage of; rather, it means that a person can get along with others in times of stress.
• If you're stressed out or feel you can't be flexible, it's important to take steps to fix a situation before it starts.

As we talked about the importance of being flexible, one of our members mentioned the way the general population views Asperger's Syndrome.  It was mentioned that most people tend to treat those with Asperger's just as normal people.  This works most of the time, but in moments of stress (especially in either an educational or occupational setting) the Insiders wished other people would be more flexible with them.

The last thing we added to the discussion was a quick step-by-step list for asking for help.  It looked something like this:

1. Identify what you need
2. Identify who you should talk to to get what you need
3. Think about what you need to say to this person
4. Address the issue or challenge
5. Work together to produce solutions
6. Repeat if necessary

In today’s hectic, crowded world, following these steps and asking for help can significantly improve a person's life.  Help exists, but being able to know when and how to ask for it is a skill in itself.

IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, SHARE YOUR OWN STORY ABOUT HOW ASKING FOR HELP MADE YOUR LIFE A LOT EASIER.  WHAT TIPS DO YOU HAVE FOR THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH ASKING FOR HELP?

Ahhhh, Memories!

Memories are powerful things. Whether it be in the form of a flashback or for the purpose of acing a test, memories have both function and purpose in our lives. And even though memories are very much the things that make up our lives and help define who we are, we hardly ever think about memory as something that can be trained.

The following TEDTalk gave a wonderful outline for just how memories are more than what they seem, and how the mind can perform even mundane tasks in wonderfully creative ways. Check it out! Then, let us know your thoughts on, well, your thoughts (or at least your memories). 

BELOW, LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE VIDEO! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF MEMORIES IN THIS MANNER? AND WHAT DO YOU THINK IT SAYS ABOUT THE WAY OUR MIND WORKS?

How Video Games Can Change Your Life... For The Better!

Check out the following TED Talk entitled "The Game That Can Give You 10 Extra Years Of Life." Video games are often the focus of much criticism, but they can also have huge benefits if used the right way! This video describes just that -- the manner in which games can be used to teach, help, and even heal. Jane McGonigal, the speaker, makes a case for how video games aren't a waste of time.

BELOW, LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE VIDEO! HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF VIDEO GAMES? ARE THEY A WASTE OF TIME, OR DO THEY OFFER SOME BENEFITS TO THE WORLD?